


Still Human

by GothicPixi



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Asexuality, Character Study, Discovery, Emil-focused, I love my son, M/M, MichEmil at the end because I can, Others mentioned and stuff, This is me, asexual Emil, casual polyglot Emil, headcanons galore, projecting onto Emil Nekola
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 05:03:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12720186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicPixi/pseuds/GothicPixi
Summary: An asexual person is a person who does not experience sexual attraction.“Oh.” Emil sat for a moment. He clicked to learn more.





	Still Human

Emil Nekola knew he wasn’t like other kids since primary school. He found the talk of cooties and older siblings’ relationships uninspiring. He’d rather watch the figure skating videos their teacher showed during the Olympic season. Emil was always more interested in himself and in friendships than anything else. He liked progress. He started learning English at a young age, and picked up other languages as well. By the time he graduated school at 15, he was fluent in Czech, English, Slovak, and German. Emil was never distracted by romance or these “sexual urges” people talked about. He was popular enough at school, with his wide smile and peppy personality. His true passion was figure skating, and his closest friends were from the rink. After graduating from mandatory schooling, he took online classes from an American middle college, hoping to one day study in North America. On a short training trip to Canada, Emil found himself at a hotel window overlooking a Pride parade. JJ had mentioned it was Toronto Pride that week, as his bi friend Isabella was attending. Emil was curious and decided to look up some of the flags he saw. At 17 years old, he didn’t have  _ extensive _ knowledge on LGBT+ identities. A younger rinkmate was transgender, but the two didn’t talk much because they were a speed skater. One flag caught his eye, as its purple, white, gray, and black stripes contrasted against the sea of rainbows he saw. Talking about it years later, Emil would say that trip to AVEN changed his life.

 

_ An asexual person is a person who does not experience sexual attraction _ . 

 

“Oh.” Emil sat for a moment. He clicked to learn more.

 

_ Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are. Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people. There is considerable diversity among the asexual community; each asexual person experiences things like relationships, attraction, and arousal somewhat differently. _ (AVEN)

 

“OH.” He leaned back in his chair, rolling slightly away from the hotel desk. He stared out the window, watching the cheering people go by. Their voices were muffled through the glass. “Wow.” Emil shook his head.  _ That explains a lot _ .

 

Emil Nekola knew he wasn’t like other kids since primary school. He found the talk of cooties and older siblings’ relationships uninspiring. Some kids teased him and called him weird. They called him a robot. Emil didn’t mind - he liked robots! He didn’t think anything was wrong with him. As the years moved on, though, he found his disparity troublesome and anxiety-inducing. Was he broken somehow? Maybe he had a chemical imbalance. A poster he saw once during a trip made him think that maybe he was repressing homosexuality. And while Emil did like looking at boys, he didn’t ever feel the urge to touch them in any inappropriate way. Kiss boys, maybe, but never... _ do _ anything. Some kids in older grades called him Cyborg and Emil didn’t mind. He smiled and accepted it - it was a pretty cool nickname, compared to some others. But that day, sat in his hotel, Pride parade outside his window...that’s when Emil understood.

 

That’s when he started healing.

 

\-------

 

Emil had become friends with the Crispino twins in his last year of Juniors. Michele and Sara were older than him by 4 years, but that never bothered him. He was 16 and they were 20 when he ran into them at a hotel before the Grand Prix. Emil laughs about it now, because Mickey didn’t see him as a threat during those first few months. The Czech had other skating friends - JJ, Leo, Mila - but the twins were intriguing in the sense that he never saw them interact with others. He thought that that might be a lonely life. During his free time, Emil started learning Italian (his elementary Spanish lessons from Leo and French lessons from JJ helped a little bit).

 

He was on a Skype call with the twins before his second season as a Senior skater. He was 18 and pretty happy. Privately, Emil identified as a gay asexual. He wasn’t ready to be open about it yet, but he was a strong online community member. He also wore the black ring on his right middle finger with pride.

 

“What’s your theme this season, Emil?” Sara asked. They spoke in Italian, so he could practice.

 

“I was thinking ‘Cyberpunk: I’m No Longer Human.’” He smiled, mentally laughing at the joke. It was a kick back to all the kids who called him inhuman. He knew nothing was wrong with him, so he embraced the determination and freedom of thought he possessed.

 

“Sci-fi. Very you, Emil.” Mickey rolled his eyes.

 

“It’s more than that, but I don’t really want to get into that right now.” Emil rubbed his arms, smile slowly dimming.

 

“Is everything alright?” Sara’s eyebrows furrowed as she scanned his face on the screen.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just...not comfortable sharing right now. Can we talk about something else?”

 

“Of course.” Michele nodded. “We got a new rinkmate this week. His name is…” As the Italian continued, Emil let out a breathe. He’d tell them eventually - he’d tell the whole world. But right now, he just wanted to know. He wanted to be happy and content without public accusals. He wanted to be secure in his identity before becoming some sort of icon. He didn’t tell any of his friends online what he did for a living, simply stating that he’s a student that travels a lot (not a lie). He was still young, still full of energy. When skating sites labelled him as one of the industry’s hottest bachelors, he laughed along with the interview. He played with his ring while they all talked. He thanked them for the acknowledgment. He texted Mickey, Sara, and Mila about it afterwards.

 

Emil was 19 when he discovered a single tumblr post with various pictures of him, emphasizing his ace ring. The OP explained the possible significance and told of their excitement that a public figure might be asexual too. It had a few notes, with some people agreeing with the sentiment. Others, however, laughed at the claim and the sexuailty as a whole. Emil messaged the OP privately and told them to stay strong and be proud. He added four purple heart emojis at the end. They responded with excitement and adoration, telling Emil about their struggle to discover their identity and to find proper representation. The two discussed the importance of representation, as well as the lack of LGBT+ awareness worldwide. He told them he was working on it.

 

Emil was 20 years old when he added the asexual pride flag to him team jacket. He waited for someone to point it out - he wanted to see if they would. He’d told his closer friends and family a little before his birthday. They were lovely and supportive, if a little confused at first.

 

“Mr. Nekola! One last question please, real quick. I couldn’t help but notice the new patch on your jacket. Does it have any meaning?” The reporter looked at him with hopeful eyes. As she spoke, he noticed the black ring on her right hand as it held her recorder. He smiled brightly at her and winked.

 

“It’s an asexual pride flag. I’m asexual.” Suddenly there were a lot more hands up to ask him questions. “An asexual person experiences little to no sexual attraction. Romantically, I prefer men, but I don’t want to sleep with anyone.” He laughed and stood. “I really need to change out of this costume, but if you want more information, I recommend the website for the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. Thank you!” He waved with his right hand and hustled off to the locker room. Sighing as he set down on a bench, Emil messed with his ring.  _ You’re good, Emil. You did good. This is who you are. You’re not broken or damaged or sick. They need this. You both deserve this. _ He felt a hand on his shoulder.

 

“You did good out there, Emil.” JJ smiled at him. “I’m proud of you.”

 

“Thanks, JJ.”

 

“Seeing you is going to inspire a lot of people. There aren’t many prominent asexuals.”

 

“Sadly.” Emil huffed. The Canadian leaned down and gave him a hug.

 

“You are entirely valid.” JJ whispered to him. “There is nothing wrong with how you feel.” As Emil was released, he felt another hand on his head, roughing up his hair.

 

“There’s my man!” Leo beamed. “You’re doing great honey.”

 

“That meme died over a year ago, Leo.” JJ groaned.

 

“Old memes are JJ Style!” Leo struck the pose backwards as Emil laughed and JJ gasped. As the two moved their banter elsewhere, the Czech was joined by someone else on the bench.

 

“You good?” Michele asked. He had changed from his performance outfit into street clothes. Emil nodded. “Do you want to go to a club to celebrate or something? Is this something you celebrate?” He added the second part quietly, suddenly unsure. Emil smiled.

 

“I’d love to go clubbing.”

 

“Alright. We can meet in the hotel lobby at 8, get some dinner. There’s a good sushi place near here.”

 

“Sara hates sushi.”

 

“I never said Sara was joining us.” Michele shrugged, eyes flickering around.

 

“Oh.” They looked at each other for a moment. “OH my God,” Emil leaned closer and whispered, “Are you asking me out on a date?!” Michele reddened and jumped up.

 

“Uh, um..D-doesn’t matter! See you later!” He ran out of the room. Emil grinned. He was in a happy haze as he changed, barely hearing his friend’s encouraging chants from the other side of the room. He left for his hotel, leaving JJ and Leo alone.

 

“I ship it.” JJ said.

 

“Oh yeah, totally. Hella.”

 

“I’m happy for them. I’m glad Emil’s happy.”

 

“That’s all I could ever wish for.”


End file.
